Asking “Am I on the right path?”
In the last post we discussed the illusion of money as a barrier to a healthy spiritual practice. In this post we look closely at a question I would guess we have all asked at some point in our journey: “Am I on the right path?”
As we move through life, we encounter smooth spots and rough spots. During smooth spots, we rarely wonder whether we are “on the right path.” That question usually arises when we are in the midst of rough spots in our journey. In truth, the answer always lies within us: we are on the right path when we are engaged in singing our heart’s song. Our heart’s song is the purpose and passion placed within us by our Creator. A few of you know that I am a former attorney. I made the choice to go to law school during a tumultuous time in my life. I applied to law school while caring for my mother who was dying of lung cancer that had metastasized to her lymph nodes and brain. I received my admission letter to law school three weeks after she died. After practicing for six years, I began questioning whether law was the right profession for me, and came to the question of “If I practiced law for the rest of my working life, would I be happy with the amount of time I gave to the practice of law?” The answer for me was clear: No! Fortunately I had the resources and opportunity to re-tool, leading to my masters and doctorate in Social Work. A much closer fit to my heart’s song. This was a clear change in paths. Next came a smaller course correction from mainline social work to what I do now, combining psychotherapy with spirituality. It took years to become clear about my heart’s song: working in the field of human potential.
Whether we are on the “right path” cannot be determined by success in the world. My last case as an attorney I argued before the Supreme Court of Florida and won by a unanimous decision, with an estimated savings to my client in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Even though I was outwardly successful, inwardly I was not successful at following my calling until I made the career change. Looking back, I can now say that what I rejected as “not my path” I now embrace as integral parts of my path, developing skills and tools I use today to sing my heart’s song louder and clearer. So sometimes it is important and useful to ask the question “Am I on the right path?” But often the question is unanswerable without asking some other follow-up questions.
Deeper Inquiry
“Am I on the right path?” is the correct question to ask if we are concerned that we have chosen a path based on the ideas, promptings or values of others. Our family or culture often nudges us into jobs or careers we choose because we can earn more money, trading our heart’s song for promised financial security. This becomes a trap. Many of us are working in jobs we do not like and feel little sense of intrinsic satisfaction. When we are in this place, we are certainly not singing our heart’s song. And no amount of money will bring us to that deep sense of satisfaction that we are doing something with our life that matters. So a deeper question to ask is “What is my heart’s song?” And only you can answer that question through self-reflection. Some ways we find our heart’s song is to think of things we would love to do to contribute to the world no matter how much or how little we were paid.
Another deeper inquiry when questioning one’s path is “what can I learn from the challenges I am facing?” Perhaps the lesson from a challenge is perseverance. Or trust. Or not expecting so much from yourself. Or change. There are countless paths to the top of the mountain, some meandering, some steep, some clear, some overgrown. We must not be afraid of making choices along the way that increase or decrease the difficulty, listening to our body and spirit to know what level challenge to choose for the next while. A great question to ask in times of challenge is “how is this getting me closer to singing my heart’s song?”
Creating breakthroughs
In closing, here are some statements that I know to be true for me. Test them out in your heart to see if they ring true to you:
- The more we are able to sing our heart’s song, the happier we are in our life.
- Each of us are created for the same overarching purpose: to bring more Love into the world. None of us express that purpose in the same way; we each have a unique path for expressing that purpose.
- Course corrections – changing or modifying our path – can lead us closer to singing our heart’s song.
- Challenges help us to build our “spiritual muscles,” making us more resilient and more effective in our path, passion and purpose.
- No experience is a waste of energy unless we choose not to learn from it.
I would love to hear from you about this blog entry or what other challenges and breakthroughs you have experienced in deepening your spiritual practice. Email me at challenges@thomascapshew.com My next installment will be focused on the internal critic in each of us that can drain us of energy and become a debilitating challenge to developing our spiritual practice. May your path be filled with health, joy, clarity and Love! Tom