The Inner Critic
In the last post we discussed the question of “Am I on the right path?” as a possible distraction to a healthy spiritual practice. In this post we look closely at a dynamic that is near and dear to most of us, the “inner critic.”
Let’s start this installment with a definition. By “inner critic” I mean that voice inside our head that reminds us of the faults, shortcomings or dangers of our choices. For many of us, the inner critic is a close and constant companion. Most of us believe the inner critic is a part of our identity, a part of who we are. In reality, the inner critic is not us, but a compilation of experiences, often traumatic ones, that have coalesced inside our brain to keep us safe. When functioning properly, our inner critic is helpful, steering us away from choices that are bad for us but appear attractive. When our inner critic is not kept in check, it can become toxic, destroying not only our progress and momentum, but our very sense of joy of living. Self-reflection and self-correction are healthy. Self-judgment and self-nagging are unhealthy.
Deeper Inquiry
Healthy Inner Critic
Our healthy inner critic helps us to improve and grow into the beautiful expression of Source energy we were created to become. As a compilation of experiences, the inner critic is the sum of what we learned from prior choices. It helps us to avoid pain by responding to a similar subsequent experience in a way that minimizes risk. In this way, a healthy inner critic is always forward-thinking, helping us maximize our functioning in our path forward. It is what every successful person uses to modify and shape their behavior for higher and higher functioning and achievement. The inner critic is working correctly when it is helping us to assess the outcome of behaviors we engage in to determine if they promote our values and interests. For example, the inner critic is used by every successful athlete to evaluate and adjust their training to become more and more successful in their chosen sport. It does not berate us for past choices, but coolly evaluates the outcomes of past choices to make better future choices. A healthy inner critic works alongside your innate purpose and passion to grow into singing your heart’s song.
Toxic Inner Critic
The inner critic is NOT working correctly when it begins to attack our value and worth as a human being. The inner critic becomes toxic when we allow it to comment on the present or the past. A toxic inner critic left unchecked begins to eat us alive, gnawing away at the inherent value we have from our Creator, eventually leaving us powerless, helpless and hopeless. We become a shell of the potential we were created to be. For many of us, a toxic inner critic can grow out of previous shaming experiences. A toxic inner critic questions our dreams, sapping away the motivation to continue working toward them. In the athlete example, the toxic inner critic would question whether the goal is worth all the hard work required. A toxic inner critic also questions our inherent value, questioning why we feel like we have the potential we are chasing. When either of these happen, our inner critic has become an invasive species in the territory of our consciousness or spirit. No person or experience has the authority to tell me what my Creator placed within me. Only I can discern that. If I let past experiences dictate my future potential, my life is aborted. Life is nothing if not bringing something into manifestation that has never before existed!
Creating breakthroughs
In closing, here are some statements that I know to be true for me. Test them out in your heart to see if they ring true to you:
- I am a spiritual being. The experiences I have had in this physical life are not “me” they are simply things that have happened to my physical being in the material plane.
- The inner critic is not part of who I am. It is a collection of experiences I have had that can assist me in making better behavior choices that can help me reach my goals.
- The inner critic can help me choose healthy, goal-oriented behaviors. It cannot, without my permission, affect my sense of value as a creation of my Creator.
- A healthy inner critic helps me see my value. A toxic inner critic leaves me questioning my value.
- A healthy inner critic helps me achieve my dreams. A toxic inner critic leaves me questioning my dreams.
- The essence of life is to bring into existence something that has never before existed.
We are now 1/3 of the way through the series of challenges and breakthroughs of a spiritual practice. Have I hit on some of your challenges? Am I missing one that you would like for me to address? Please let me know at challenges@thomascapshew.com My next installment will be focused on the external critics around us that can drain us of energy and become a debilitating challenge to developing our spiritual practice. May your path be filled with health, joy, clarity and Love! Tom