Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
-Rumi
Practicing Connection
Practicing connection begins with connecting to the source of our being. Our connection to each other is only through our common connection to our Creator. A leaf of a tree appears to be independent of another leaf on the tree unless both trace the source of their growth, power and life back to a common origin of that which sustains them. Whether it be roots, trunk, branch, sun, wind or rain, the source and sustenance of a leaf’s life is all around them. Each is a point of commonality with other leaves on the same tree and all leaves on every tree. When we see difference, it creates separation. When we see commonality, it creates connection.
The dominator consciousness is built on difference – seeing each of us as separate entities competing for limited resources. Finding connection is the antidote for the dominator consciousness. For most of the history of mankind, difference has been the focus for physical safety, reducing our survival to either/or instead of both/and. While it is true that life feeds on life, the connection can be celebrated rather than focusing on difference and creating a weak justification for the destruction of life. The difference between the dominator consciousness and a much more connected consciousness can be illustrated with the mindset toward buffalo held by the peoples native to the Americas and the Europeans who settled in the Americas. The peoples native to the Americas lived in harmony and balance with the buffalo, recognizing the symbiotic relationship between their life and the life of their main source of protein and clothing. On the other hand, the Europeans who settled the Americas saw the buffalo as a pathway toward the destruction of the natives’ lifeways, thereby advancing their claim of ownership and dominion over the land. The stark contrast between the purpose and use of killing a buffalo (and for the Europeans, thousands upon thousands of buffalo) clearly illustrates the difference in consciousness as it relates to the heart sense of connection.
The movement of Consciousness rising is continuously bringing us closer to a reawakening to our connection to all that is. Two examples to illustrate the shift, one seemingly small, the other immense. In the last few years, friends have played what has come to be called the “six degrees of Kevin Bacon game,” finding connections in movies between actors who played parts in the same movie, all relating back to Kevin Bacon within six movies. This fun game uses our common knowledge of constructed culture to show that everything is connected and can be traced back to a common origin. While seemingly fun and harmless, the game rewires our brains to find connection rather than difference – commonality rather than separateness. The second example is more immense: the creation and growth of the internet. Those of us who have only been alive during the era of the internet cannot even fathom a world without access to an overwhelming reservoir of knowledge and information reaching around the globe. The internet, coupled with the advent of the cell phone, have created a sense of connection never before experienced in the shadow world by humankind. The tsunami of Consciousness rising in our world today is wiping out the sensation of isolation and separateness humans have felt for eons in the shadow world, replacing it with a profound sense of potential, unlimited resources and connection to all that is and to each other.
However, practicing connection to each other must be proceeded by practicing connection to Consciousness, for tracing ourselves back to the source of our being creates commonality with all that exists. We cannot find commonality to each other without finding our commonality with the Source of our being, the one breath that breathes life into everything. Maintaining a belief in the illusion of separateness and difference invests energy in disconnection and isolation. Embracing a belief in the reality of connection and commonality opens our hearts to experiencing the flow of energy we call life. We have the ability to experience being “apart from” other energy. In psychotherapy terms, we call this creating boundaries. Boundaries are important in learning to navigate the seen, physical world, for without them we would have no sense of individual power and individual responsibility. However, boundaries in the unseen, spiritual world are nonexistent and nonsensical. If, in reality, in the unseen world, we come from, live in, and return to, the Source of our being, how does creating a boundary between me and Source make any sense? If, in truth, we are part of an undifferentiated whole, why would we want to believe that we are somehow a differentiated part?
So practicing connection starts with returning to the reality of being an expression of the undifferentiated whole, then from that point of oneness, we find ourselves connected to anyone and anything manifested in the seen physical world which arises as an expression of the undifferentiated whole. An example of this comes from my time living in New York City, that superorganism of humanity. I love dance. Growing up, my expression of dance in this body was truncated by negative comments made by peers during my adolescent years. Even though I and my partner “won” a dance contest at a junior high school party, I chose to let in all the negative messages about my ability to dance and since then have been very self-conscious about what I look like when I choose to dance at any function or gathering. New York City is a limitless banquet for people who love dance, with performances of every imaginable genre and interpretation of dance from traditional to experimental. When I lived in the City, I attended a broad range of dance events, in settings from grand to intimate. Often, sitting in the audience in the dark, I would feel a sensation of expanding beyond my sense of self and becoming one with the dancers, experiencing the thrill and effort of the movement, the emotion and intent expressing through their bodies, becoming one with the experience through a joined consciousness expressing the one Consciousness. I can say that I have not even met one of the dancers in the seen, physical world. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that we are connected in the unseen, spiritual world. My love of dance joined their love of dance and we danced as one in Consciousness. Practicing connection is achieved when we follow the commonality of our existence back to source and recognize ourselves as one. All the mystics and great teachers share this same, common message: we are one.
Connecting with other humans is a practice. Our minds have practiced looking for difference for survival for so long that we have habituated seeing how we are different than another person. Many of us take that difference and add judgment, either to boost our ego or to feed our fear. We are trained and practiced in “looking for the blemish” either in ourselves or in others, always seeking difference, wrongness, blame or some other sort of elimination from value. Connecting with others requires exercising the heart muscle of “looking for the beauty.” Finding the commonality, rightness, positive quality or some other sort of elevation of value.
Looking for the blemish creates separation. Looking for the beauty creates connection. Practice looking for the beauty in your everyday life and your sense of being connected to all that is will grow as your consciousness rises to meet the Consciousness that created all.
When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
-Audre Lorde
This is part 3 of a 6-part series. I would love your feedback and comments. You can either post comments below or email me at tom@thomascapshew.com.
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May your path be filled with health, joy, clarity, and Love! Tom